Missing
by finalfantasygirl16
Summary: Bloodshed. As if the war from centuries ago between Heaven and Hell wasn't enough, the potential possibility of another war laid before Rukia in such a horrifying prospect. "I just want you back…" IchiRuki. Sequel to – Dreams.
1. Missing

AN: **Shadow Kiti** and **I** have agreed to make a side story in the same universe of this archangel Rukia and demon lord Ichigo we have going on.

We're collaborating together to create a multi-chap story, don't know how long it'll be yet, but it'll be more romance based than her main story **Heaven and Hell**. [Check it out on her profile!]

Yes, her main story will have romance [IchiRuki] of course but it is not the /main/ focus.

This 'side' story takes elements from her main story as we create an Alternate view on the romance aspect as well as story line. It will contain a lot more romance/hurt/comfort/angst.

You can see it as a sequel to **Dreams **[On my profile] in a way, it makes the beginning to our collab flow better if you see it in this way. If not then, **Dreams** can see be seen as, like I've said before, just a stand alone one shot~ Happy reading! :]

Summary: Bloodshed. As if the war from centuries ago between Heaven and Hell wasn't enough, the potential possibility of another war laid before Rukia in such a horrifying prospect. "I just want you back…" IchiRuki. Sequel to – Dreams.

Missing

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The slash of the celestial sword pierced his seemingly unmoving heart. Everything was moving in slow motion like a horrendous never ending nightmare. Rukia's violet eyes widen as she heard her voice in a slow moving impossibility.

"ICHIGO!" She cried out.

Her celestial white gown dragging across the rocky and dirt grounds of Hell. She ran to her lover, hot tears welling in her eyes as she pushed her silent brother away.

"ICHIGO!" She called out choking on her words as she kneeled down and hugged his upper body. Having her chest against his head, Ichigo could feel her frantic heart beating. What a beautiful feeling. Coughing on his blood, he knew he just tainted the pure white angel.

"Please don't leave me!" She repeated over and over as she rocked him back and forth against her.

She prayed to all the gods in Heaven, she prayed to the universe. She prayed for forgiveness. He was a demon, the devil, a fallen angel and she, she loved him with all her being.

"I need you. I need you. I need you" She whispered as she gently ran her bloodied fingers through his bloody hair.

"Ru… kia…" He coughed, choking on the crimson blood.

"Be strong, please, hang on" She pleaded as she coughed, choking on her sob.

"I…" His closed eyes winced, trying to force his lips to move, "love you" He whispered.

In that instance, she stopped feeling him. In that instance, her world came crumbling and crashing down.

"No, No, No!" She frantically chanted as she rocked him harder against her chest.

He was gone.

"Ichi… go. Ichi... go. Ichigo…" Rukia's voice rose an octave as her small voice squeaked. She looked at her shaking hands as she stared at the blood. There was so much of it. So much that she couldn't see her pale skin.

Rukia screamed. A mixture of lost, pain, mourning, and part of her soul being ripped out were mixed into her scream.

She leaned down and kissed his cold lips one last time as she gently placed his head down on the ground. Kissing his bloodied forehead and giving him a final goodbye with her final 'I love you' she sluggishly rose from the ground and walked up to her brother who said nothing.

Small shaking hands balled up into fists as she pounded her crimson stained hands onto her brother's chest. "You killed him!" She wailed, "YOU KILLED HIM!" She screamed.

Byakuya looked down at her, saying nothing, he took her beating. She was a fool.

"You monster!" She punched him once.

"You murderer!" She punched him twice.

In the distance, a scared Yuzu watched Rukia, the sad mourning angel was stained in red. She never saw her cry, not once, but to see her all broken – it made Yuzu want to cry. Rukia was like a mother figure to her and right now that mother was hurting.

Karin's eyes were held wide as she physically shook and trembled. Her brother was dead.

Her brother. Her only family. Dead.

Byakuya quickly used a celestial flash step as he picked up a disoriented Rukia and dashed to get Yuzu. Giving one final hard look at Karin, he left the small demonic child alone with the body of her dead brother as he returned to Heaven.

"Sir?" A soldier called out knowing that he startled everyone in his bloody clothes.

"Lock the gate to Heaven. No one is allowed to pass or enter until further notice" Byakuya ordered as he temporarily closed their connections to the other world.

No one must know of Heaven breaking their peace treaty with Hell. He would have to deal with their outrage sooner or later, and right now, Byakuya was choosing later. He just killed Ichigo – Hell's demon lord.

Byakuya walked into Heaven's Palace and set both Rukia and Yuzu down. Before Byakuya could order Yuzu to take care of and clean Rukia off, Rukia ran to her room.

Byakuya stared at his fleeing sister, she was a fool. "Watch her" He ordered Yuzu as she weakly nodded and walked off after Rukia.

Yuzu was about to follow Rukia but knew she needed time alone so she silently apologized to Byakuya as she disobeyed his order and went to clean herself up.

Rukia closed her door behind her as she slid down and curled herself into a ball. Her shaky hands staring at the blood, the blood of her lover, there was so much of it.

"Ichigo…" She cried.

"It should have been me" She repeatedly whispered to herself.

She felt like half of her being died that day, like her heart was ripped out of her chest. One year. They managed to keep their relationship hidden for one year. One year of hidden meetings, hidden caresses, hidden kisses, hidden bliss. And now it was all gone.

Rukia hugged herself as she laid on the cold white wooden floor of her room. She didn't care what she looked like, she didn't care that the blood on her clothes was still fresh, she just wanted to keep a part of him with her for a little while longer. She looked at her blood stained white dress seeing some of the blood drying and turning brown, she cried at the spots that were still red, she looked at the blood, Ichigo's blood, his once warm blood that now ran cold. She would never get to feel his warm lips, his warm hugs, his warm touch, ever again.

"I miss you…" She sobbed into the ground.

Rukia's bright glow started to die out, her eyes glazing in emptiness, her words repetitive and whispery.

She was broken.

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Done! To be continued!

I will update when **Shadow Kiti** has Chapter Two done for me to post. We are switching off every other Chapter that way you get the different sides to the story and it's easier to review on which/whoever's chapter, etc.

Story title was inspired by Missing by Evanescence.

Remember to R&R! Plz & Thankies! :]

I don't own Ichigo Kurosaki, Rukia Kuchiki, and all other characters used in this fic.

Bleach is owned by Tite Kubo.

I just own part of this story idea as this is a collab! :P


	2. My Immortal

AN: That didn't take long xD

Yays~ Hello, Nana-chan's followers! Shadow Kiti here! Now for my part. Helps that I already felt Karin's torment in Nana's tiny description of her. Gotta love emotional denial~ ;3 Hopes you like~

Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo.

My Immortal

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Karin chewed on her lip which had already started bleeding half an hour ago as she carried her brother's weight. _He can't do, no, this can't happen. He killed Aizen, he's too strong. He's my brother..._The tears threatened again. _No, demons don't cry. I won't, not out in the open. Not much longer._ She kept this as her mantra as she walked to the Dead Woods.

The sun looked ready to set, maybe an hour left. She bit hard on her lip. She had so little time to reach her little home before creatures came out to play and a petite female demon with dead weight would be finished within a few minutes after sunset. Her breathing hitched. _He's not dead!_ Her mind screamed. Determined, she shifted his weight and picked up the pace, determined to go ballistic on any creature or even a demon that dared get in her way. As she finally entered the Dead Woods, a soft groan made her pause. She stared at her brother, tears no longer being able to be held back.

"You _are_ alive," she was barely able to whisper. The relief gave her new energy as she pressed on to her home. The sun had barely set when she finally arrived. Her shoulders slumped, grateful to have made it and half dragged her brother in, laying him on the floor and got a fire started to keep the cold out.

Taking her favorite knife, she cut his shirt open, carefully prying the clothe from the scabbing wound as to not reopen it. He had lost enough blood as is. How he had survived made Karin wonder, but she was most happy not to dwell on it since he _is_ alive. Her big brother was alive... The thought made the tears threaten again and she let it, in a controlled kind of way.

With the fire going well, Karin warmed up some clean water and used it to clean the wound. Though learning all the medical practices she could was to help her brother, she never thought there would be a day she would actually have to on him. Yuzu was merely a special case... The thought of Yuzu distracted her for a moment. Her blood sister was locked behind those walls with that asshole, but also Rukia. Rukia's heart being ripped out and stabbed by her own brother, her reaction that even reached Karin in her despair of her brother being killed.

Maybe Yuzu can help her. _She will be able to. She will have to. Angels that broken will fade into nothing, a fallen angel, and with Ichi still being alive, not even he will be able to do anything to reach a fallen angel_, Karin frowned. Her blade tip pointed at the developing scab, she wondered how to go about doing this. Toying with the scab, she knew she would have to step in and tell the elders her brother had disappeared to take a break, having had a dispute with archangel Byakuya and wanted to spend time cooling his head before the next annual meeting. The doors had to open for that otherwise it will be a declaration of war from Heaven. She wondered then how Byakuya failed to kill her brother. As an archangel that was alive during the war, his strike should have been as perfect as Ichigo's.

Before she knew it, she had gotten rid of all the scabbing and set to cleaning as tenderly as possible. Ichigo moaned again, his eyes barely opening, but looking on as if seeing nothing. At his level and where he laid, he could potentially see the little minions of Jack Frost's standing outside Karin's door, or maybe a shadow cat creeping past. Karin allowed him that much as she went and got pure alcohol. Looking at him, his expression smooth though with a little sweat, she was about to torture him just to save his life and ensure that he will not die of an infection. She made the mistake of not doing this with Yuzu. This could turn out horrible very quickly unlike that time.

"Hey, Ichigo," Karin called. His head slowly turned to her, his unfocused gaze looking at her general direction. Damn, this did remind her of Yuzu, but she didn't stand over her. She wished it was something like a broken wing, or broken skull. Suddenly, she felt angry at her brother. How dare he let that damn archangel asshole stab him through his chest? _Oh shit_. That asshole used a celestial blade. Karin looked at the average alcohol, something more from the human world which meant it was weak and easy for someone like Karin to get a hold of. She went back and got her special hidden demon alcohol she stole from when Aizen was alive, not sure why she even wanted it. Standing over him again, she opened it. Black wisps came from the bottle. Definitely high quality. She looked at her brother. "Hope you don't hold this against me."

She upturned the bottle, pouring the entire contents straight onto his newly opened wound, cleaning out the taint of the celestial sword. Ichigo screamed and squirmed, which was the exact reason she didn't sit on him. Her tiny body couldn't hope to be enough to pin him down as she tormented him with this pain. Plus, that position can be Rukia's. She planned to never be in that position, especially not on her brother.

Once all the liquor had been poured out and the wound beautifully cleaned, Ichigo laid still, breathing heavily, but unconscious. _At least he is alive, though not awake_, Karin told herself. Next step was to clean the liquor off of him and get the wound wrapped. She looked over at the fire. Cold tendrils reached through the chute that the smoke escaped, wanting to extinguish her fire. She fed it more logs, building up the flames and successfully chasing away the icy ghostly fingers.

"You won't enter here, cold," she murmured, "You won't win, not when my brother needs me. I won't let him die, especially because of you."

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Done! To be continued.

I swear I'm turning Karin sadistic. Read and review if you don't mind~ :3 since I have Hell, and Nana gets Heaven (sounds like what the afterlife will be like to me xD)

On my chapters in this collab, I'll put what the creative process between FFGirl16 and I looks like in our convos. Be warned, it's very random~ xD

FFGirl16: Haha. That position.

Shadow Kiti: Oh another comment on Karin being aware of positioning - She's sixteen, seems fitting for her age.

FFGirl16: How do you think she would feel about her bro doing that?

Since we all know Bya baka would flip a table and universe and possibly stop production of BBQ for Aizen.

Shadow Kiti: Lol she's chill.

XD

Remember? Rukia can have that position.

She won't have it, Rukia can and Rukia would damn well enjoy it too.

And fourth chapter will have the origins of our or your bbq obsession xD

FFGirl16: LOL.

No, no, no.

Aizen's obsession~ :P

Shadow Kiti: XD LMFAO

FFGirl16: He lives in hell so why not.

Shadow Kiti: We're creating the secret side of Aizen that no one knew.

FFGirl16: LOL. That's hilarious.


	3. Lost Soul

AN: FFGirl16 here again! Now onto my chapter! I don't have much to say other than - Happy reading~

Lost Soul

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_Dark thorns with crimson red roses adorned the Castle's garden as crying fallen angel statues surrounded the vast land of the gardens dark purple grass. A celestial white angel brighten the dreadful garden as she lightly giggled and carefully picked roses. Cringing, she pricked her finger as the heavenly blood dripped out. _

"_Ow, that was my fault" She whispered as she winced, hearing her lover chuckle as he petted the top of her head, "You are so clumsy" He teased as he lifted her small hand and placed her bleeding finger to his lips. Licking the blood away, she watched as his demonic hazel eyes lit up in red in a flash as it quickly disappeared once he finished. _

_She winced at the pain of darkness healing her celestial being. "Mm, so sweet" He whispered, closing his eyes as he held her hand against his cheek. "Ichi… go" She softly gasped as he pulled her closer, leaning down and capturing her lips. Her wounded finger being forgotten as he let go so she could wrap her arms around his neck to deepen the kiss. _

_His hands lowered and razed through her body like scorching heat as she moaned and tried to forget the pain of the cost that they had to pay whenever they touched. _

"_I'll always love you" He pulled away, panting heavily against her ear. _

"Ichigo…" Rukia whimpered.

The breaking angel wrapped her arms around herself as she sat in her tub. Droplets of cold water ran down her body as she visibly trembled.

She wanted to drown.

She wanted to die.

Her dry and cracked lips chanted her dead lover's name as she stayed in her tub remembering happier times.

"I… I… I can't do this anymore" She cried.

One month.

One month has passed since the Demon Lord's death and as the days grew longer and her restless nights shorter; It got harder for Rukia to be herself.

With a shaky hand, Rukia reached out and turned the water on. Filling the tub until it flooded her bathroom's floor. Closing her eyes she submerged herself in the water.

As the seconds passed she felt the need to come up for air but she would not allow it. The longer she stayed under the water, fighting with herself to continue living, being on the brink of death – her mind would tell her Ichigo was there. In the water, she could see him, strong and healthy. In the water, he was smirking like he always did, he was chuckling at her silly clumsy stupidity. In the water, he was alive.

"_And I'll always love you" She whispered. _

_Taking her hand, Ichigo and Rukia walked the castle grounds as they talked about nothing important. Being in each other presence was all they needed, laughing and being free to act like close friends, like lovers. _

_Ichigo ordered all his servants to take the day off so no suspicious eyes could linger and judge. He would deal with his loyal servants that were questioning their day off later. _

"_So tell me, oh great and mighty Demon Lord, what is it that you do all day exactly?" Rukia asked teasing as they entered the grand kitchen. _

_Ichigo chuckled, "The truth?"_

"_I'm an angel so what else?"_

"_I do… nothing worth mentioning" _

"_So you're telling me you just lounge around on your throne?"_

"_For the… most part, yeah" Ichigo replied, giving her a half-truth. _

_An angel like her didn't need to know what went on in Hell, all the mass chaos, all the cleaning up to do, the dirty work, the punishments, and more importantly everything Ichigo had to fix that Aizen left a mess when he was the Demon Lord of Hell._

"_How boring" She heavily sighed. _

_Ichigo chuckled shrugging his shoulders, "Sorry to disappoint" _

_Rukia gently smiled as she walked around the kitchen looking for something edible. Once she found a bowl of fruit, she let out a girlish squeal and quickly bit her bottom lip embarrassed. "Sorry, I really like strawberries" She answered Ichigo's unasked question as her cheeks burned with her blush._

_He came closer, his taller figure looming over her as he took a strawberry from the bowl and took a bite. The fruit's natural juice moistened Ichigo's lips as he brushed his lips against her and whispered, "But I'm the sweetest tasting one, aren't I?" _

_Rukia's crimson blush darkened as she tip toed to gain an inch as she closed the gap between them. _

Rukia gasped as her lungs burned for air, her head spinning, her vision blurred. Her watery image of Ichigo slowly fading away as hot tears welled up in her eyes, cascading down like a waterfall.

"I love you… I love you!" She cried.

She shakily looked down at her wrinkling hands as she sluggishly and weakly dragged herself out of the water.

"I miss you" She choked on her sob as she gripped tightly onto her bathroom's soft rug.

Hearing a gentle knock at her door, Rukia ignored it as she yanked a towel down as she covered herself. She didn't have the heart or strength to do anything.

"Rukia?" Yuzu softly asked as she apologized for intruding and entered the room. Seeing a trail of water coming out of the bathroom, Yuzu was about to panic when she calmed down and heard Rukia crying.

She hated to see Rukia so broken, so sad, so depressed, and so down. Rukia gave Yuzu a family when she had lost her own during the civil war between Heaven and Hell – that blood bath of a nightmare, just when Yuzu was beginning to lose all hope, Rukia came and saved her, she gave her love, comfort, and support. Rukia was like a mother to her, the purest angel Yuzu knew and now her 'mother' needed her.

Now it was Yuzu's turn to return the favor, or at least part of it. She loved Rukia too much to lose her now. She would do everything and anything in her power in order to save and protect her 'mother' and right now, Rukia needed Yuzu's love, comfort, and support the most.

"Let's get you dried up and dressed, okay?" Yuzu gently said as she helped Rukia get up and wrapped the towel securely around her small frame.

"Ichigo…" Rukia whispered as she bit her quivering lip.

Yuzu winced at the mention of his name. She didn't want to ask her anything about him, she didn't want to bring him up, she didn't want to make Rukia remember him; she just wanted Rukia to be happy again.

Once getting Rukia dressed, Yuzu sat her down on her vanity's desk bench as she began to brush her hair as she hummed Rukia's favorite song – the one she would hum to Yuzu to comfort her whenever she was scared when she was a child.

"I'm going to take care of you, don't worry Rukia," Yuzu whispered, "Please don't cry, I'm going to protect you this time"

Outside in the hall, Byakuya passed through Rukia's room when he heard Yuzu speaking. Seeing as the door wasn't fully closed all the way, he could partially see Yuzu standing over Rukia as she brushed her hair at the vanity desk. Byakuya slightly squinted his eyes to examine Rukia's face in the reflection of the vanity mirror. He could make out her quivering lips and tear stained face.

She was a fool. She needed to stop this infatuation she had with the Demon Lord. It wasn't right and he certainly did not approve of it.

"Ichigo…" He heard her mumble.

Byakuya narrowed his eyes at the mention of that vile name.

This needed to stop and he only hoped that a few more months would give her enough time to heal and move on; forget about that demon.

He would never admit it to anyone nor show it but part of him was growing concerned. Getting worried that this would be more serious than he thought. He did her a favor by saving her from that demon's dirty hands, at least he'd like to believe that. He just wanted to keep her safe, to keep her in Heaven.

"I miss him, Yuzu" Rukia softly spoke as she licked her cracked dried lips.

"I know you do" Yuzu gently caressed Rukia's head as she ran her fingers through her damp hair.

"M-My b-brother k-killed h-him" Rukia tightly said as the tears threatened to come down again.

Byakuya – still standing outside heard her last words.

He cringed.

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Done! To be continued.

Yeah, I know it's a sad chapter but don't worry, it'll [eventually] look brighter for Rukia!

Things will get better for her, I promise!

The joys and wonders of storytelling~

I will update once **Shadow Kiti** has Chapter Four ready for me to post~

Remember to R&R, Alert, etc. Plz & Thankies! :]


	4. Eyes of the Dead

AN: Shadow Kiti here! I'm terribly sorry! Work, school... hardly any time to write and FFGirl16 hasn't really pestered me about writing. She has switched animes again, but do check out her FREE! one-shot. It's actually really good and I swear really visual. I got swept away. Anyways, I'm going to try writing more since one of my classes is almost over. (Btw ASL during the summer will take your life away unless you're not working)

ALL RIGHTS BELONG TO TITE KUBO.

Eyes of the Dead

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She stared at the inert body, distracted once more from what she was doing. His chest did raise smoothly and naturally, matching someone asleep. It reminded her of Yuzu when she took care of the angel here. Karin wondered what her brother's real reaction would have been, if they had more of a sibling bond rather than raised barriers. She had hidden and cared for an angel within her own home, but considering how their relationship was, it shouldn't have mattered. He never once stepped foot in her home. And now he had been dragged in just in time to avoid the stupid little frost imps and shadowy beasts that prowled this place.

She realized that she had stopped completely sharpening her knife. With a sigh, she set back to work. She had already scared the living shit out of those old demons so they believe that her unconscious brother was off away on some kind of vacation and now she was really in control. In truth, she got caught up in the moment of anger as they belittled her again and she flew off the hook. Each of the elders now held a mark of some sort made by her, to remind them that this female demon was fully grown and deadly. But now she had to act in her brother's place. She took one look at the throne that Aizen sat on before her brother and told them she'll handle business, but her own way. Aizen's fixated gaze as if he was about to play with something replayed in her mind and she had grown cold, but kept her face unreadable. These stupid old men didn't know anything about Aizen and she wasn't about to give way to fear. That would just be an opening to belittlement again.

Karin glanced at her sleeping brother. The wound in his chest was healing cleanly and quickly, though signs of scarring were finally showing. At least it was healing. She guess she should praise Fate for not killing him. Still, she couldn't believe Byakuya, a well known Arch angel, to miss by such a small margin and fail to kill her brother. He hated him that much... right? Karin shook her head. Maybe because Rukia was there, there was enough distraction for him to be just a little off and that was good, for her at least. The smaller raven haired angel's face rose in her mind, changing from that soft look she gave Ichigo to the horrified, tear streaked one. Karin could not find any part of her demon being that hated the angel. That soft look... she hadn't seen her brother's expression, but she could feel he had something similar. That was the only reason, Karin's logic said. That's why she couldn't hate her. But she can damn well hate Byakuya.

Her grip tightened, her knuckles pure white against the black leather handle. She couldn't wait for a chance to kill that bastard. And perhaps her chance will come when she goes to Heaven as the Demon Lord's substitute. Though she really wanted to see Yuzu and talk to her more than see that bastard.

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_Light. Not like the sun, but a pure white reaching for him. At first, he thought of _his_ angel... until it pierced his chest. _I know this dream. When did I dream this?_ The light reached through him. An image of Karin stood close behind him, eyes wide and shaking, her body shaking too. Time slowed. He noted how much Karin had grown, remembering how she looked before he met Rukia. She grew quickly and matured even quicker while caring for someone. Maybe that's what it took to be stronger, to have someone to care for. Her mouth moved with no sound, but he knew she was saying his name. He turned and saw Rukia, her eyes, too, were wide and she was already crying with her hands covering her mouth. He wondered if she had the ability to speak. And the little angel that she came to Hell to find. Yuzu. She clutched Rukia's sleeve, just as shocked as the other two girls._

_His eyes followed the blade of light that had pierced through his chest. His lung had a cut, but it wasn't filling with blood and the blade was just barely too low to touch his heart. Nothing fatal, but the light. Byakuya's face was a completely blank, which was unusual. Ichigo figured one day the damn Arch angel would try to kill him and he always thought that he would show all his contempt on his face. Yet he didn't. _Even for a dream, that doesn't make sense_. Rukia was yelling now, he could see her mouth. She was yelling at Byakuya as he pulled out the blade. Though his body fell to the ground, Ichigo was able to watch as Rukia hit her brother's chest with her fists, yelling._

"You killed him!"

_Her voice resounded in his ears as she yelled louder. Somehow, this felt less a dream, but he still felt disconnected. _This couldn't be reality... could it? Karin was crying too... no it can't be...

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FINISHED! FINALLY! I feel accomplished xD

Originally there wasn't going to be an Ichigo POV, but I have people commenting on my **Heaven and Hell **story that I don't write enough. Still short, I'm sorry, I'm a freakin' zombie that actually wrote and still has to study for my class tomorrow... well actually two. Awesomeness. So anyways, I hope you did enjoy, and it's not just me that has been in a funk, so has FFGirl, but this might help her write the next part. :3

To be continued whenever FFGirl16 writes Chap.5.

Please remember to R&R! Thanks! Ja ne for now~ :3


	5. Falling

AN: FFGirl16 here! Alright, time for my chapter! I just want to say, thank you all who are **Following** this story! **ShadowKiti **and **I** appreciate it but ya know, it would be nice to receive **reviews**! We really, really appreciate your feedback even if it's only a couple of words long! Happy reading~

Anyways, this chapter was inspired by the GazettE. Just putting that out there. Lol. I love them.

Falling

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_Rukia sat against the cool wall of the door in one of the Dark Castle's bedroom, she was surprised it was so cool. She chuckled, funny, she didn't think anything in this damn Hell was anything above scorching hot. At least her celestial aura helped protect her but she would bear the pain because it was her heart that was hurting the most. _

_On the other side of that very same wall in the room next door, Ichigo, the Dark Lord and ruler of this Dark Castle sat against the wall of the door. He sighed, he hated himself. He wanted to blame her for taking his heart but it was his own fault for letting her have it. _

"_We can't touch" She whispered. _

"_I know" Silence pausing his thoughts. _

_He continued, "We can't be together" She bit her quivering bottom lip at his words._

_She deeply frowned, "I know" She whispered. _

_He didn't say anything. _

"_Why?" She asked, particularly to no one. _

"_Why?" She repeated herself. _

"_Why!" She yelled as the tears came streaming down. _

_He cringed, "Rukia..." he whispered._

_Ichigo closed his eyes in pain as he heard his angel crying in the next room. _

_He wanted to hold her and never let go. _

_He wanted to promise uncertainties of the future. _

_He wanted to but he couldn't, his words were caught in his throat as he heard her choke on her sobs._

_The universe and the fates were always kind to her, everything always worked out for her in the end, no matter how difficult of a trial it was, but for once, the universe and the fates have failed her. Rukia sat against the wall as she could faintly hear Ichigo's breathing, he stayed silent but his demonic aura let her know he was still there. _

_She knew that he was trying to push her away a little. He didn't have the heart to push her away completely but the knowing fact that he even tried – it hurt her. She didn't care that the pain of touching hurt her the most, that a simple kiss simmered, a simple caress burned. She didn't care that if they made love, it always had her on the verge of tears and trembling lips. She didn't care, she loved him. _

_Wasn't that enough?_

_Biting her bottom lip as she thought about their relationship, she grew angry and balled her tiny pale hands into fist as the tears ceased. She bit her lip hard that she accidentally drew blood. She made her choice, everything could be damned for all she cared. She was an Arch angel. She was strong. _

_Not having the strength to get up and walk, Rukia crawled and made her way to Ichigo's room. With the servants knowing that the angel from Heaven was there attending to 'business' – they were on high alert of her, servants always suspicious and ever loyal to their Demon Lord. Ichigo escorted her to the room next to his, it was technically a part of his room, being divided by a sliding door. They could talk privately without too much wandering eyes if they did this. Going straight into his room would cause too many problems that he didn't feel like dealing with or even cared to explain. _

_Rukia slid the sliding door open as Ichigo regained his composure from losing the support of the wall against his back. He could see the dried tears on her face as he said nothing. He made his decision, this was his choice – he would not hurt her ever again. He would not cause her pain anymore. She needed to forget about him, move on with her life, and possibly cleanse herself of his demonic aura if she could. _

"_Look at me" Rukia pleaded as she stopped and sat a short distance away from him._

_Ichigo's demonic hazel eyes looked at her sadden violet orbs. _

"_I've made my choice, I'm not giving up on us yet. I… I love you too much to let you go, don't push me away" Rukia gritted her teeth as she fought the urge to cry again. _

_Ichigo's resolute was slowly crumbling and breaking. He winced in pain, he wanted this, the universe knew how much he wanted this but he hurts her... all the time. _

"_Don't push me away just because you think you're hurting me. I'm stronger than that, dammit!" Rukia continued as she barked at him. She needed to remind him that even though she may be an angel, she wasn't weak or fragile like a white rose. She wasn't delicate. _

_Ichigo mentally cursed at himself, he wanted her, it was the first time he was being selfish. He wanted her, he loved her. She was his and his alone, "I want you. I want us" His husky voice desperately confessed. He would deal with all consequences in the future, even if he had to die for his sins. _

_Rukia crawled the rest of the way as she straddled Ichigo's hips, the train of her white flowing dress creating a bright light within the dark colored room. She didn't need to say anything, she looked into those eyes she loved as her eyes trailed down to his pale lips. She swallowed, remembering in that instant that her bottom lip was still bleeding. Knowing that her blood was so sweet to him, made her forget about pulling back. She closed her eyes and leaned down as she captured his lips, he groaned. Ichigo's eyes flickered red as he tasted her celestial blood. It drove him mad. He desired her. _

_Ichigo's hand gently caressed the back of her head as he deepened the kiss. He swore that he would never try to push her away again. It was foolish to even think he could. He didn't have the power to. Rukia moaned as the kiss intensified. Her skin was on fire as their auras clashed and met halfway. Tongues battled for dominance as teeth razed, the mixture of blood making it unbearable for him. He needed to stop this before his demonic traits started to take over. Pulling back he breathed heavily as he tried to calm his racing heart. Only she could make it come alive. His usual unmoving heart._

"_Rukia, we need to stop" He warned. _

"_I want this just as much as you do" She argued. _

_They've already made love once, she didn't understand why he was pushing her away. Well she couldn't say she didn't – she knew exactly why. _

"_I'm not–"Before she could finish, Ichigo gently pecked her lips. _

"_I know, I know. It's just that there's a lot of people here today. Usually I keep a short hand of servants but the damn Elders have them swarming the Castle today" He apologetically smiled at her as he laced his fingers with hers. Lifting their entwined fingers to his lips, he kissed her hand. "I promise you, once we're completely alone, we'll be together. I promise" He whispered. _

_Rukia gently smiled, "Forever"_

"_Always" He promised as he kissed her cheek. _

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Sullen eyes and pale cracked bleeding lips greeted her in the mirror.

The mirror taunted her, it screamed at her as if saying, "Look at this, this thing you've become"

She's lost sleep. Tossing and turning with memories of her lover's death never escaping her every thought.

She's lost weight. Her appetite was completely gone, just as much as her will to live.

She's lost her soul. The tears stopped, her body couldn't produce anymore and her heart stopped caring about anyone and anything.

She's in a nightmare.

Three months have passed her as she slowly wilted away like a dried flower in the desert.

She missed his touch, his aura, his everything.

She only had her memories to caress and comfort her just as it broke her down even further every time she thought about them.

She heard someone gently knocking on her door as the door slowly and quietly opened. She knew it was Yuzu.

She once loved this child, when she could love and her heart had the room for it.

"Rukia, would you like to sit in the garden? I'm here so we can get some fresh air" Yuzu softly spoke as Rukia stared at the girl through her reflection in the mirror. She weakly nodded as Yuzu walked further into her room as she placed the small white box she brought with her gently on the table.

She tried not to make so much noise, thinking it would break her 'mother' even more. She mentally sighed to herself as she opened the first aid kit and took the gauze out. Yuzu was starting to notice this pattern Rukia was going through. Although she, thankfully, did not inflict self pain to herself, Rukia had gained a bad habit of making her lips bleed.

Rukia sat still at her vanity as Yuzu gently raised her chin up so she could wipe away the blood. She fought the urge to reopen her wound, make it bleed deeper. Her lips were the only reminder that Ichigo ever existed. That he once existed, once claimed her as _his _angel.

Once Yuzu was done cleaning her wound, Rukia's lips returned to their abnormally pale color. She needed to get out more, get more sun. Yuzu helped to tie Rukia's robe as she tied the knot tighter than she normally would. Rukia was thin, forcing her to eat was a task in itself. Yuzu ignored the fact that if Rukia grew any thinner, she would be nothing but skin and bones. Her hollow cheeks and sullen eyes made Yuzu want to cry.

Yuzu helped Rukia take small steps out of her room, afraid that in her weaken state, Rukia would collapse. Rukia cringed back at the bright light of the outside world, her eyes burning as they became adjusted. She hadn't seen outside of her room for a week, hadn't seen anything beyond the white walls of her four walls.

As Yuzu lead her to the gardens, where the grass was green and healthy and the scents of beautiful flowers grew – some of the servants they would pass by would compliment Rukia. They lied and said she was looking healthy and beautiful, that she looked as radiant as ever. Yuzu tensely smiled as she tried to mask and not show her annoyance. Anyone could see that Rukia was clearly unhealthy, frail, and lifeless.

"Here... is fine" Rukia's hoarse voice spoke up as she barely managed to pat Yuzu's arm as Yuzu nodded and helped her sit down on a stone bench. Rukia had a favorite place in the gardens, it was a maze and in the middle of the maze laid a beautiful silver fountain surrounded by angel statues with white and pale lavender roses. It was her own little piece of Heaven within the walls of the Palace but in her state, she didn't have the strength to even venture that far.

She always imagined what it would have been like to show Ichigo her little hidden, secret treasure. To share a part of her world with him. A gargled noise rose from deep within her throat, her body could no longer produce tears. She ran out of any to cry. Rukia composed herself as she made her foolish happy thoughts disappear in an instant.

Ichigo was _dead_.

He _is_ dead.

She accepted that. He was _not_ coming back. _Ever_.

Yuzu stood patiently behind Rukia as she got lost in her own thoughts. She wondered what Karin was up to, how she was dealing with her own loss.

Karin loss her brother, her only blood. Yuzu felt terrible, it broke her heart, just as much as seeing Rukia lose herself.

"Yuzu... you can go" Rukia spoke up, her voice barely above a whisper.

Yuzu snapped out of her thoughts as she nodded, knowing Rukia could not see it. Before she left, she walked up to Rukia, seeing her blank expression made Yuzu frown. Yuzu made sure Rukia's robe was safely tucked in, covering her body knowing all too well that Rukia wouldn't bother to fix it herself or even cared if her skin was exposed.

"I'll be back later, I promise" Yuzu said as she gently kissed the top of Rukia's head and walked away. She didn't see the way Rukia cringed at her words.

"_I promise" _His deep voice said.

"_I promise" _His voice held so much certainty.

"_I promise" _His voice held the world. _Her _world.

Rukia wanted to throw up. He promised her so many things, he kept each and every one.

Except the promise where they would be together forever. Always.

She needed to leave this place, it was making her think too much. Rukia slowly stood up on her own, rejecting any help that other servants offered her. She didn't need anyone to assist her, she was an Arch angel for cryin' out loud.

Suddenly bitter as her mood turned sour, she slowly made her way out of the gardens and headed straight to her room. Holding onto the wall for support, she made her way through the long white empty corridor. Why was this hall so long? It seemed so endless. "Ichi... go" She called out in a whispery breath.

Her mind playing tricks on her, thinking she saw him at the end of the white tunnel but...

He was there! The shadow of his body was there, the darkness within the white light.

Her heart skipped a beat as a flutter, a small flicker of hope rose within her very being. She just had a little ways to go before she reached him. She prayed and hoped he would wait for her but as the shadow neared, it vanished. Her mind spinning, her eyes blurry. She reached out with her hand, "Please, don't leave me!" She softly cried out.

She braced herself as she ran for it, her outstretched hand trying to grasp for him but only catching air. "ICHIGO!" She forced her hoarse voice to speak louder. She yelled out his name. Her body growing heavy as the shadow returned, it stood still at the end of the tunnel as if it heard it – waiting.

Her soul gave out as she collapsed. The stress taking a toll on her mind, body, and strength.

The shadow at the end of the corridor reached the fallen angel as she screamed for help. Yuzu's eyes widen as she hastily shook her shoulders. "Rukia!" She cried out, "Rukia!" She shook her harder. "Someone, call for help! Please get help!" Yuzu frantically yelled as a servant was making their way through the long corridor, hearing the angel's plea for help as they neared her way and immediately ran to get Byakuya and others to help.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Rukia awoke to the pressure of a warm gentle aura squeezing her hand as the figure slept peacefully right beside her bed. The deep worried frown on Yuzu's face told Rukia that Yuzu was scared. She may look as if she was in a peaceful sleep but Rukia knew that she wasn't and it was all her fault.

She couldn't remember what happened before she collapsed and fainted but she knew she wasn't feeling good.

Ichigo was there. No, he wasn't, he's dead.

He can't be there, not anymore, not ever.

Her head hurt from trying to force herself to remember what happened. Snapping out of her thoughts, Rukia felt Yuzu stir as she slowly opened her eyes, blinking once, she could have sworn she saw Rukia awake but quickly blinked a second time as her eyes adjusted. Rukia was awake and just staring at the younger angel. A small hint of smile tugging at the corner of Rukia's pale cracked lips as Yuzu embraced the Arch angel. She felt guilty for harming Rukia any further but she was overjoyed. She couldn't help herself but hug her.

"You really scared me back there!" Yuzu lightly lectured as she gently kissed Rukia's cheek and ran to get her some food.

Rukia watched Yuzu leave her room as she noticed a vase of white lilies on her vanity's desk. She already knew it was her brother's doing. She may not remember clearly what she saw before she collapsed but she did faintly remember seeing Ichigo's face as she was carried to her room. She thought he was the one to carry her safely to her room. What she would give to be surrounded, encased in those strong arms of his.

She hugged herself at the thought as the feeling of content left her just as fast it came. Yuzu softly knocked and announced her entrance as she came back with a silver rimmed glass tray with a bowl of hot soup and a glass of water.

"Rukia you need to eat something. Please eat, even if it's only a little" Yuzu asked as she extended the legs of the tray and placed it on the bed.

Rukia sighed, she wasn't hungry. She never was.

Yuzu sat down next to her as she took the spoon and took a spoonful of soup. She gently blew on the hot soup to cool it down before she fed Rukia. Rukia's wounded lips stung as the silver silverware touched her damaged lips. The hot liquid barely entered her mouth as it dripped down her chin. Yuzu quickly wiped away the running soup as she patiently tried to feed her little by little.

"I... would... like to sleep now" Rukia whispered as Yuzu nodded and took the food away. Rukia barely touched her food but it would have to do for now.

Yuzu left the room as Rukia tried to get comfortable underneath her covers.

She fell into a sleepless slumber, one where her memories haunted her. She was in a nightmare.

"_Ahh! Ichigo!" She moaned as her back arched. Her nails tightly grasped his bare muscular shoulders. _

_Her nails drew blood as his hungry lips traveled up from her neck to her lips silencing her moans. _

_He promised they would have their time together. Alone. _

_He would never break a promise to her. Never. _

_Their flesh scorched as their different aura entwined together. _

_Sweat dripping down from his bright orange locks, Ichigo kissed her hard and deep as he slowly pulled away. Taking her hand from his back, he brought it close to his lips as he licked away the blood she drew. She slowly opened her desired filled eyes as she watched his hazel eyes flicker red. To any angel, the sight of a demon's eyes turning red should have been the most frightful sight to see but to her, it only made her love him even more. She knew they were different. Demons were different from angels but to see how different – it filled her with curiosity and interest. _

_Ichigo wasn't someone she would ever fear. She couldn't. She trusted him with every fiber of her being – completely._

_Ichigo placed her hand on his heart as he looked down at her. "It's yours" He whispered. _

_Rukia could feel a racing heartbeat underneath his hard muscular build. She closed her eyes, drinking in the soft erratic noise. _

_She loved it. He was alive. _

_He was alive. _

_She captured his lips as his image disappeared. _

_She was left all alone, tangled in bed sheets as she grasped them and looked everywhere for him. _

_Searching for that warmth of his body she just lost. His touch. His sweet words. His everything. _

Rukia twisted and turned as her memory started turning into a nightmare – her reality.

Grasping her stomach she cried out as she felt a discomfort below.

Snapping awake, she pulled herself to sit against the wall of her headboard as she quickly took off her white sheets and untied her robe.

Her shaky frail hands moved down her thighs as she felt something warm. She braced herself, gulping as she looked down herself.

It was blood.

There was blood in between her legs.

She screamed.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Done! To be continued!

What's going to happen next? Why is she bleeding?

Will things ever look up for Rukia or is she going to continue to Fall?

Until next time!

the GazettE songs that inspired this chap. are: Guren, Cassis, and Taion but mostly Taion.

I will update once **Shadow Kiti **has Chapter Six ready for me to post~

Remember to R&R, Alert, etc. Plz & Thankies! :]


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